Listen to Ravens take To The Sky by Sonni Quick #np on #SoundCloud
I have a granddaughter named Karissa Raven (Quick). It is hard when you aren’t in the life of grandchildren that live with the parent that isn’t your child. It is hard on grandmothers when your son’s baby momma doesn’t want to be in contact with you and never tells you anything that is going on in her life.
My son and the mother were young and unmarried. They tried to make it work but it was an accidental pregnancy and they had nothing in common. My son worked on the road and the mother moved far away. My son paid support until she was 18, but he wasn’t able to see her. Very complicated. She is 20 now.
I knew the mother since the time she was 18. No matter what I said she always thought I didn’t like her. Since we had no relationship and things were bad between her and my son, my grand daughter only heard her mother’s version of things. That is normal. But when you are young you don’t understand there are always two sides to every story and the truth lies somewhere in the middle. One story is not ever the the whole truth.
Unfortunately, the mother broke many of the court stipulations but my son couldn’t take her to court because she filed false kidnapping charges against him after she dropped the child off with him and took off on a cruise. He had to work and took her with him to his next contract, out of state, but let her know where he was. That was how she knew where to send the police to arrest him.
They let him out of jail after about ten days. They weren’t going to pay to extradite him. But he couldn’t go into the state of California for 1O years because there was a 500k bench warrant if he was caught inside the state. After ten years they said he could come and turn himself in and he would be able to get out after 30 days when he went to court, but by then he had a family to support and couldn’t do it. So even though he had court ordered visitation, he couldn’t see her. It was sad, because he never did kidnap her. It was a way for the mom to make him suffer, and he did. The lost of his child was almost like a death.
My granddaughter cut ties with my son because he tried to tell her what her mother did because it ripped him to shreds. The last time I spoke her was about 6 years ago. She would agreed to talk to me if “you never mention your son,” not “my father.”But I did and she hung up on me and never spoke to me again ever. I waited and waited for her to grow up. I left an occasional message on her Instagram page. No answer.
Meanwhile, my mother is getting older and in a wheelchair as is her other great grandmother. Both 86. She has an 11 and 12 year old 1/2 brother and sister she had never seen or spoken to. I’d watch her mother’s Facebook page for pictures. My heart hurt. Quite ago I left another message with her mother asking her please ask Karissa to call and heard nothing – until about two weeks. She wrote, “I am willing to talk to Moya. ” (her 11 yr old half sister). Since then she and I have texted some – me more than her, but the two girls talked. A connection was made.
I did what I usually do when I’m emotional. I compose music. The title has her middle name. I sent it to her in a text today. I haven’t heard back yet. Music is the gift I can give that no one else can give. It is part of the story. It is part of me. I don’t even know what kind of music she likes so maybe it won’t mean much to her. I’m have to wait and see.